Much of what is written about work life balance focuses on the element of time and how it is managed. For some I agree, time management is the place to start. However with many of the clients I work with, through many years of practice they have learned to manage their time. They have learned to incorporate many time saving devices and seem to fill most moments. However they still often feel overwhelmed and ineffective. They can honestly say there are just not enough hours in the day. Something has to change. They know that it’s got to be them, but are unsure of where to start.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 8% [?]

Whenever we are growing or learning new things there comes a time when we are not who we were and are not who we will be. We are in a state of transition. This “identity crises” can be a place of vulnerability. We are at a crossroads. The choices made now are not ones that will be easily changed in the future.

 My world of yesterday was a world of comfort.

I knew who I was and what I was to do. Expectations were clear for me and I knew what to expect from the others in my life. But things are different now. I have grown. As an adult I grow as a person. This may not be as easily identifiable to the people in my life. They may see a few changes on the outside. But much of the change has been an inside job, only visible to someone looking at my heart.

 How do I make it through this time you ask? For if we are really living life; we will go from one state of change to another. There will be times of settling in, but these will again lead to more change.

Don’t make major decisions when you are tired. When you are tired the good is too good and the bad is too bad. Rest brings objectivity.
Have an accountability person in your life, and expect them to hold you to the goals you have set previously.
Continue to reevaluate and measure goals against “life values”. Although goals will change, “life values” will not. These will act as a compass in the midst of whatever may come your way.

Remember that whether your opportunities were chosen or thrust upon you, it is not so much what happens to us but what happens in us that matters.

Popularity: 66% [?]

Many parents may look forward to that day when their child, now an adult, moves out into the big world; this is a celebration of a job well done. However the pride of accomplishment is tinged with loss, sadness for the childhood that has gone by. The little arms that would wrap themselves around a neck as they said “I love you” are all grown up and off to start a family of their own.

 The better the change…the worse we tend to feel about any feelings that aren’t “all good.” In fact, often we just want to bypass or detour this part of the journey. However, a detour won’t take it off your map, because to fully embrace the future, the past must find its home.

 In going forward, there is always leaving behind. There is a part of you that is now only a memory, as the new you goes on. This “feeling” is completely normal, and although often uncomfortable, we all experience this “grieving” when dealing with significant change…even the good stuff.

Popularity: 61% [?]

I hit the ground running this year, yet I am ever so much more sensitive to keeping balance in my life. I have really had to reflect on what my priorities are and how I want my life to reflect those. With increased opportunities for growth and success, there are increased opportunities to fall off the wagon and go spirally down the “if I could only go faster I could do it all” path.

I have realized recently that the reason many people don’t recognize the first step out of balance is because you can’t live by a measure you don’t have. You can not recognize that your priorities are blurring if you have never fully identified what your real priorities are. Priorities have to do with the things you most value, not the most recent crises you think you must solve.

Pretend for a few moments that there are no fires to put out. Take a few minutes, and make a list of the relationships and people that are most important to you.  Write down the activities that most energize you and give you the most joy. How do you feel about the quality of your life? Are you able to operate at a maximized physical condition for yourself, and if not, why?

Making life changes is not about getting it All right. This road involves opportunities. You will fall. To believe you won’t is unrealistic. However, babies don’t quit walking the first time they fall, they just have to keep getting up until they get it right.

 Are you living life or is life living you? Do you spend a lot of time running from one fire to the next, so busy taking care of “have to” that you don’t remember what a “want to” looks like? Find out what the measure for your life is. Find out the things that you would die for and then live for them. That is Joy…Beyond Freedom!

Popularity: 27% [?]